Floods, Hokum, and Photoshop

What. A. Weekend.

And I'm not saying that because it was great.  Saturday we had torrential downpours and I woke up to a log in my driveway.

Yup, you read that right.  A log.  In my driveway.  At first I thought some tree branch had fallen, and then I noticed that this thing was too straight and perfect to be a branch.  Essentially it was one of those 4x4s that people trim their gardens with.  And then I noticed another one in the yard.

See?  Log.  In my driveway.  Also, reflection of my badass hot pink iPhone cover.

How the hell did those get there?  So I call Ryan, and I'm describing the supernatural arrival of wood (get your mind out of the gutter) when I go outside and notice a bunch of debris in our freshly-mown lawn.

Exhibit B, as it were.  Also, line of crap.

A bunch of debris in a perfect, straight line, halfway up our yard.

Fuck.

For those of you who have never lived near water, a perfect line of trash, leaves, silt, etc. after rain means one thing and one thing only: a flood line.

So our yard had flooded a little.  Big deal, we live on a hill.  The house remained unscathed.

Well, that was all good and fine, except my car was parked on the street overnight and not in the driveway.

It's okay, I'll give you a minute to work that out, because it took me a couple seconds too.

That's right, my car flooded.

Yep, that's water.  In my floorboard.  I don't know why it looks like swamp water mixed with urine, but I swear it wasn't that scary color in person.  Chalk it up to my fabulous photography skills.

So there you have it, friends.  This is what my weekend revolved around.  I've been alternately crying, researching insurance stuff online, crying, looking at new cars, and crying.

I have an inspection with my claims adjuster tomorrow morning and I'm 99% sure they're going to total my car.

Guess it's a good thing Ryan got me a bike for my birthday.

Also, I gave the ole' blog a new look this weekend (you know, since I couldn't drive anywhere).  Hence the "Photoshop" in the title.  More on that later.

Also, for those of you wondering about that diet?  Complete and total bullshit.  Hence the "Hokum."  Suffice to say after some more research I learned it was really unhealthy and ineffective in the long term.

And now I'm off to go Shop-Vac more swamp water out of my driver's seat.