Day Two

Today's breakfast.  Is it just me, or does my plate look like a really happy cyclops?

Good morning, love muffins!

I learned a few lessons yesterday, the primary one being that I do NOT like being hungry.  My blood sugar gets low and I start getting cran-kay.  As in, I may have flipped out a little on my husband when he didn't give me half of his cheeseburger.

Sorry babe.

Alright, lemme recap this shiz...

Breakfast was... pasty.  As we already went over.  Well, by the time lunch rolled around I was starving.  A piece of toast with some tuna on it never tasted so good.  And I had a big ole cup o' coffee, because I just didn't feel like green tea was gonna cut it.  I'll admit I cheated a little bit here; I put a teaspoon of light mayo in the tuna, and some unsweetened vanilla almond milk in my coffee.  

I know, I know.  For shame.

I did dinner, sans the ice cream.  I didn't have any green beans so I substituted a 3/4 cup of peas instead.  For the record, you can take slice of deli turkey and roll 'em up around some peas and make little.... turkey and peas burritos..... right.... 

I was doing pretty good until Ryan and I walked into a bar (no pun intended).  I did have a beer, but limited myself to one (instead of my normal three or so).  This may have been the point Ryan got a GIGANTIC burger and I started foaming at the mouth and crying and throwing a temper tantrum.

You think I'm kidding, but I'm not.

I eventually got myself together and got some fro-yo.  My justification was that beer is unhealthy and fro-yo is healthier than ice cream and for whatever reason Sweet Frog pacifies me.

Last night and all this morning my stomach has been doing some really unpleasant churning and gurgling.  It basically feels like there's some really serious digestion going on, which I guess is the point.

I'm down 1.7 lbs, which I know is NOTHING, but after yesterday's torture it was comforting to see the number on the scale go down a little.

Jillian Michaels and her 30-Day Shred is calling to me.  I'm glad today I actually get to eat some real food.  

Wish me luck!

Why Don't I Just Eat Paste?

So, call me superstitious, but I really don't like to blog about important stuff, or potentially important stuff, because putting it out on the interwebs always seems to jinx it.  Whatever, I'm puttin' my bizness out there.

Simmer down, it's really not that exciting.

See friends, I'm trying to lose weight.

Me and every other fast food-eating, not-working-out American.

Ugh.

I've been using the iPhone app My Fitness Pal, getting my downward dog on, doing crunches, and I've even attempted jogging. (My apologies to all my neighbors... sorry you had to see that first thing in the morning).

Well, I've lost about ten pounds so far, so I guess I've been doing something right.

But my ass is still jiggly and I swear my colon is trying to kill me.

In the interest of self-inflicted torture my health, I am embarking on a 3-day diet at the urging of a friend.

Today is my first day, and I've only gotten through breakfast, but my friend is a day ahead of me and no shit has dropped 9.8 lbs in twenty-four hours.

Yeah yeah, I know it's all water weight.  But sometimes a gal just wants to see the digits on the scale decrease, ya know?

In case you're interested, here's the deal on the diet plan:

3 DAY DIET

DAY 1:

Breakfast--1/2 Grapefruit, 1 Slice Toast, 2 Tablespoons of Peanut Butter, and Coffee or Tea

Lunch--1/2 Cup of Tuna, 1 Slice of Toast, and Coffee or Tea

Dinner--2 Slices of any type meat (About 3 ounces) 1 Cup of Green Beans, 1/2 Banana, 1 Small Apple, and 1 Cup of Vanilla Ice Cream

DAY 2:

Breakfast--1 egg, 1 Slice of Toast, and 1/2 Banana

Lunch--1 Cup of Cottage Cheese (Or 1 Slice of Cheddar Cheese, 1 Hard Boiled Egg, and 5 Saltine Crackers

Dinner--2 Hot Dogs, (no buns), 1 Cup of Broccoli, 1/2 Cup of Carrots, 1/2 Banana, and 1/2 Cup of Vanilla Ice Cream

DAY 3:

Breakfast--5 Saltine Crackers, 1 Slice of Cheddar Cheese, and 1 Small Apple

Lunch-1 Hard-Boiled Egg, and 1 Slice of Toast

Dinner--1 Cup of Tuna, 1/2 of a Banana, and 1 Cup of Vanilla Ice Cream

You're not supposed to use any butter, mayo or anything.  You CAN use salt and pepper to season your food (just don't go all salt-crazy).

So what does all of this have to do with my status?  Well, this morning I was preparing my breakfast and to my dismay realized we were out of peanut butter.  Which meant I was forced to eat two tablespoons of unsalted, all natural almond butter.

Gag.

It's a good thing my grapefruit was extra juicy.  I also sucked down unsweetened green tea like I was a dying man in the desert.  I think my mouth may be permanently glued together.  Which would absolutely thrill....pretty much everyone.  Have I mentioned I never shut up?

Whatever, if I drop even 5 lbs it'll make one morning of paste worth it.

I'll keep you updated on the progress.